My Dear Bella
by Kyra Renee
Summary: “Please don’t be afraid.” He pleaded.
1. Chapter 1

"Edward." I whined. "How much longer do I have to walk? My feet are killing me." He chuckled and turned around. Sadly, I was about twelve feet behind him. I really hated making him wait, but I wasn't about to be left behind.

"The rest of them are already there." He reminded me. I groaned and trudged through the hazardous twigs.

"It's been at least five hours. I haven't gotten to rest once." I slumped against a tree and stared at him. The way the color of the trees clashed around him made him look even more like a Greek god. But it didn't that much of my breath away. I supposed that I was growing used to it, and I was tired.

"You're the one that told me you wanted to walk." Edward said, looking at me carefully. "Are you feeling all right?"

"Yes, because I'm terrified of running." I nodded my head slowly, but even doing that made my head spin. "It's a human thing called exhaustion." He laughed and held his arms out for me.

"Come on, Bella. Let me carry you. We'll get there much faster, and you can relax." Relax? Ha! I debated for a few moments before sighing in defeat. He could carry me, on one condition.

"All right, I give up. But promise me you won't hit into anything, or drop me." Again, he laughed. It surprised me how happy he seemed over the past few days.

"Bella, honestly." He rolled his eyes and swung me up into his arms in one fluid motion. I wondered how heavy I felt to him, but I never got around to asking. "Ready?"

"Am I ever?" I closed my eyes and locked my arms around his neck. His cold skin felt good against my clammy skin. It was refreshing to just fly through the trees like that. I was counting down until I could actually breathe again, and I was surprised to find that it was less than five minutes before he stopped.

"You can let go now. We're there." Slowly, I opened my eyes and loosened my arms from around his neck, but still refusing to let go.

"Wow." I said quietly. The cabin looked more like a wooden mansion. From what I saw, it looked to be three stories or more. It overlooked a small stream, and it was sheltered by a hundred pine trees… give or take a few.

"Finally." I jumped as Alice danced towards us. Apparently, Edward didn't miss that.

"Something wrong?" He asked, setting me down but not letting go of me.

"She just startled me, that's all. Nothing to worry about." In order to show them that I was fine, I took a small step away from him and managed to keep my balance perfectly. "Hi, Alice."

"Hi, Bella. We've been waiting for you guys. For a while there, we thought that Edward might've…" She trailed off at the hard look on Edward's face. Attempting to lighten the mood, I let out a little laugh.

"I just felt like walking for a little bit. Sorry if you've been waiting long." Alice shook her head.

"It hasn't been long. Just a few hours or so." She flashed me a toothy smile.

"Sorry." I said again, glancing at Edward.

"All our belongings are here?" He asked. Alice nodded.

"Rosalie and Emmett brought it." She said. Edward nodded and looked at the cabin.

"Come on." Before I could even take a step, Alice was gone. Leaving just the two of us to walk the rest of the way by ourselves. "You like it?"

"It's beautiful." I said, admiring it in awe. He gave a quiet chuckle. "What?" I asked, turning my attention to him.

"Your eyes. You should see the way they light up." I smiled and looked down at my feet. "I like it." He added, looking back to the house.

"Edward, Bella!" Carlisle and Esme beamed at us from the top of the stairs. "I trust you two had a safe trip."

"Thanks to Edward we did." I said brightly. Esme laughed and nodded.

"Always looking out for her, aren't you, Edward?" She asked, giving him a motherly smile.

"Would you like to see the inside, Bella?" I nodded and followed Edward up the stairs and inside. I inhaled sharply as I stepped through the doorway. The interior was even more beautiful then the exterior. It was so outdoorsy, I immediately fell in love with it.

"Do you like it?" Esme asked, stepping up beside me. For a moment I didn't know what to say, so I just gawked at her.

"Bella?" Edward asked, tapping my shoulder.

"Huh?" I shook my head, and then quickly nodded. "Oh yes. I love it." Satisfied, Esme pointed to the kitchen.

"Edward reminded us that require more than we do. So the kitchen is at your disposal." I blushed and nodded. I was always the odd man out, but I was trying to get used to it.

"Thank you." I muttered.

"Let me show you to our room." Our room. I cast a quick glance around the room before allowing Edward to drag me up the winding stairs to the third story. He led me to the end of the hallway before pushing open a door and ushering me inside.

"You're lucky they never took this bed out of here." He said, closing the door softly behind him and coming to stand next to me.

"I would sleep on the floor if I had to." I said, going over and sitting down on the small bed. It reminded me of the bed I had at home. Home. Oh no! I jumped up quickly.

"What is it?" He asked, alarm clear in his voice.

"I forgot to call Charlie. I told him I'd call once we got here." I had my hand on the doorknob when I felt a strong arm slip around my waist. Edward pressed a small metal object into my free hand. A cell phone. Right.

"There are no phones out here, Bella." I looked at him for a moment before flipping the phone open and dialing Charlie's number. It rang three times before I heard the other line pick up.

"Hello?"

"Dad. It's me, Bella. We just got here. It's beautiful, and I'm all right." There was silence before he spoke.

"All right. Well, have fun and call me later, Bells."

"I will, Dad. I promise. Bye."

"Bye." I closed the phone and handed it back to him. "Running water?" I asked, eyeing him carefully.

"Nope." I tried again.

"Electricity?"

"Nope." He folded his arms across his chest and smirked at me.

"How in the world am I going to survive?" I asked, folding my arms across my chest as well. Edward shrugged innocently.

"You'll find a way. Human instincts will kick in eventually." I narrowed my eyes at him.

"So now I'm going to have to live like a cave man or something?" He laughed and shook his head.

"Not quite. But close enough." I groaned and threw myself down on the bed.

"Oh, Bella. Lighten up." He sat down on the edge of the bed and looked at me. "It's not that bad out here, trust me. It'll be fun. Just as long as you don't get eaten by a wild animal."

"You're a wild animal." I mumbled.

"Perhaps. But I won't eat you." I looked at him and grinned.

"You would if you could. But you can't, so you won't."

"I would if I could. But I don't want to, so I won't." He said, giving me my favorite crooked smile.


	2. Chapter 2

I had finally just begun to doze off when there was a knock at the door. Edward lifted his head up, and I just flopped over onto my stomach. I didn't want to be bothered. All that walking had worn me out.

"Go away." I groaned, my voice muffled by the bed.

"Come in." He said, resting his head back down on his arm. His other hand running up and down my spine. It felt nice, but it gave me the chills at the same time.

"We're going hiking." Jasper said as he opened the door. I could see myself falling down a lot already. Why did they have to be so fit and flawless, while I was out of shape and clumsy?

"No more." I whined, stumbling off of the bed.

"Bella, you need to learn to be more adventurous. It'll be fun." Fun? I stared at Edward. He of all people should know my disability.

"I'll get hurt. I'll slow you down. I'll fall down." I crossed my arms stubbornly across my chest. He sat up and looked at me.

"I'll be there. Nothing's going to happen to you. I'm not leaving you alone here, and I'm not going to sit here either. You're coming, whether you like it or not." Once again, I was defeated. It wasn't what he said that forced me into going, it was his eyes. They were pure honey color today, and I couldn't seem to look away.

"Then I at least get to change." Jasper and Edward both nodded.

"Fifteen minutes." Jasper said before exiting, and closing the door behind him. Edward on the other hand, didn't move a fraction. He just sat there, staring at me.

"What?" I asked, after a moment or two of silence. "You should be happy that I'm going. But don't get mad at me when we're way behind the others." I lifted my duffel bag off of the floor and set it on the bed. Sighing, I began digging through its contents in search of my other pair of jeans and sweater.

"I won't get mad." He sounded so sincere, I couldn't help but smile.

"Can I change now?" I asked, folding my clothes over my arm. Edward nodded. But instead of leaving, he just turned around on the bed and put his face in his hands. For a moment I was unsure of what he was doing, but after a minute or two, I caught on. "You're not leaving are you?"

"Nope. But I won't look, I promise." I could tell he was smiling. Did he realize how totally uncomfortable this was for me? I exhaled slowly, and slid out of my jeans and into my other ones as quickly as possible. I held my breath as I flung my other shirt off and hurriedly pulled the dull orange colored sweater over my head.

"Done." I muttered, stuffing my other clothes into my bag. He lifted his head up and turned around to look at me.

"You look nice." He commented.

"So do you." He just laughed, and stood up.

"Ready?"

"No." But I followed him out of the room anyway. My stomach churned as we walked down the two flights of stairs. I wasn't looking forward to making a fool of myself, nor was I looking forward to going home in a full body cast.

"Are we all here then?" Carlisle called as we stepped outside onto the wrap around porch. For some reason I just couldn't see all of them walking together and enjoying themselves. Actually, I didn't even know that vampires took hikes.

"Why do I feel as if this is only for me?" I whispered, looking curiously at Edward.

"It's not." He assured me with a smirk. "We can be a normal family when we want to be."

"Oh." I just looked away.

"Come on, then." Carlisle and Esme led the way into the surrounding woods, followed by Jasper and Alice, Rosalie and Emmett, and bringing up the rear was Edward and I. As soon as we entered the dense woods, I stumbled and fell. No one else seemed to notice, and if they had, they completely ignored me. Except Edward.

"Try to be careful, Bella." I grabbed a hold of his cold hand and pulled myself up. He chuckled and resumed walking. Grumbling I trudged behind him.

"Sometimes I wish I were like you. Then I wouldn't have to worry about falling all the time." I knew he heard me, even if he pretended not to.

"Watch out for mountain lions, Edward." Emmett called back to him. They both smirked at each other, and I bit my bottom lip.

"You're not going to…" I trailed off as I hurried to catch up to him.

"Of course not! Not with you around, at least." He looked rather appalled that I would even think such a thing.

"Well why not? I want to see it."

"No you don't. I already told you that I can't be around you when I'm like that." I remembered him saying that quite a few times, actually.

"Alice, where are you going?" I looked up as Jasper and the rest of them stopped. Alice was staring at the mouth of a dark and spooky looking cave sort of thing.

"Who's coming with me?" She asked, turning around to face us all.

"I think we'll stay here." Esme said, nodding towards Carlisle.

"I'll go." Emmett stepped up next to her. Edward nodded.

"We'll go too." I flashed him a dark look.

"It's dark in there." I said.

"So?"

"So I won't be able to see. You think it's bad now. Well, just wait." Rosalie glared at me before shaking her head.

"Go without me." She snapped. Even now she didn't like me. I felt sorry for her, but then again I envied her. I'd give anything to be like her… even my life.

Satisfied with our little exploration group, Alice and Jasper led the way inside the cave. I gripped firmly onto Edward's arm as we followed them inside, Emmett trailing behind us.

It was dark and spooky, just as I had expected. Not even the dim light from the mouth of the cave helped. I couldn't see an inch in front of my face, but the others seemed to find their way perfectly through the darkness. I stumbled countless times, and if it hadn't of been for Edward, I wouldn't fallen at least a dozen times in the first five minutes.

"Edward." I hissed, shaking his arm and looking carefully to my left. It sounded like something was scurrying around, and I didn't like it in the least bit.

"What?" He asked softly.

"I hear something."

"Probably rats." I felt him shrug. Rats? Well, as long as they didn't touch or bite me, I would be fine.

"Boo!" I screamed as something jumped out at me. My heart was racing as I released Edward and staggered backwards, bumping into the wall.

"Jasper!" I breathed, placing my hand over my heart. "You nearly gave me a heart attack!"

"That was the point." I eyed his chuckling silhouette in the darkness carefully.

"Stop playing games and let's go." Emmett said, giving Jasper a shove and walking on. Still laughing, Jasper followed him.

"That wasn't funny." I said as Edward pulled me away from the wall and set me on course again.

"Yes it was. You should've seen your face."

"I can't see anything in here." I grumbled, now feeling my way through the darkness. For a while there was complete silence. The only sound was footsteps and dripping water. Well, besides the occasional thud from me falling. I enjoyed the silence, because I could hear him breathing next to me, and I knew he was real.

It was nice to have that reassurance once and a while. Sometimes it felt like this was all a dream, but when I felt him or saw him, I knew my imagination wasn't that expansive.

"This was a waste." I heard Emmett grumble, as we approached them.

"What was?" I asked curiously, stepping up behind them and peering over their shoulders. It wasn't much, but it was rather nice. There was a tiny stream, and the water looked cool and crystal clear.

"Let's go back, then." Jasper shrugged.

"Race you." Alice said, before taking off. Smirking, the other two boys took off after her.

"I bet Alice wins." I said, looking after them.

"Emmett." Edward said, crouching down by the water and staring at it.

"I can actually see here." I knelt next to him and stuck my hand in, watching the ripples intently.

"It's nice."

"Yes." I replied softly, looking over at him.

"Shall we follow them?" He asked, standing up. I reached up and grabbed his hand, shaking my head.

"Can we stay here for a little bit?"

"Of course, Bella."


	3. Chapter 3

I lost track of time, but I would guess that we sat there for at least an hour or more. It was quiet, and peaceful. I would've been able to sit there forever, but the thought of the others made me stand up.

"They might be waiting." I said, looking back in the direction we came.

"I doubt it. They're probably already gone. Don't worry, though. We'll continue our hike, and then head back once it gets dark." I nodded.

"Lead the way." He smiled and grasped my hand. He was like a guide dog for me. It was so much easier to get around when he was helping me. I didn't fall so much.

The walk back passed in dead silence, and it seemed to take much longer than I remembered. Finally, I spoke up. Unable to hold in my questions any longer.

"Edward, are we lost?" I asked quietly.

"It's a cave, Bella. There's only one way in, and one way out. No, we're not lost." Even though I couldn't see him, I swore he rolled his eyes at me.

"See that light up ahead?" He asked suddenly. I squinted.

"No."

"Well, it's there. Which means that we're almost out." I nodded and breathed a sigh of relief. Why I ever doubted him, I wasn't sure.

He was right, they were gone. We exited the cave and Edward seemed to hesitate before taking me through the woods. Thankfully, we were on a path, and to my benefit, it was rather clear as well. Though I still found things to trip on, all in all it was pretty decent.

He finally let go of my hand in order to pass around the other side of a large oak tree.

We walked on for another hour or so until he finally stopped, looking up between the canopy of branches above us.

"Twilight." He said softly.

"Time to go?" I asked. I was reluctant to leave now. I was actually beginning to enjoy the scenery.

"Time to go." Edward said. He looked at me and chuckled. "Don't worry. We'll be back." I nodded and swallowed hard.

"I don't want to walk." I mumbled, looking away from him.

"Bella…" He looked at me skeptically.

"I said, I don't want to walk." I repeated, louder this time. More forceful. He sighed and swung me onto his back.

"Close your eyes."

"Eyes closed." I fastened my legs around his waist and secured my arms around his neck, while closing my eyes tightly at the same time.

"Hold on." I buried my head beneath me arm. Once again I felt like I was flying. I loved it, but I just didn't love thinking about how fast we were actually going. This time, he didn't have to tell me when we stopped, because I knew. I opened my eyes slowly and looked around. We were back. It still amazed me how much time that saved.

"Thank you." I said, as I released him. I fell flat on my bottom, but I recovered quickly this time, hoping that he hadn't noticed. He just merely nodded.

"So you're beginning to like that?" He looked at me curiously.

"Nope. Not at all." I smiled at him, and he returned it. My breath caught in my throat as I watched his hand move to pick a leaf out of my hair. I blushed.

"Thanks." I muttered.

"Welcome." He said, smiling at me crookedly. We just stared at each other for a moment before his eyes flickered to something to our right.

"What is it?" I asked curiously, turning my head. I couldn't see nor hear anything. I rolled my eyes. I forgot that my senses weren't as keen as his.

"They're on their way back." He replied simply. Wordlessly I strolled over to the porch stairs and sat down. I deserved to sit. After all, my body wasn't used to all this activity. Edward stayed where he was until they arrived. Only then did he come to sit with me.

"Sorry we left you." Esme apologized. I shook my head.

"I had wanted to stay there for a while." I admitted.

"That's fine. The purpose is to enjoy nature." Carlisle said, smiling at me brightly. I was sure they got to enjoy it much more than I did.

"Are you hungry, Bella?" Alice asked, perching on my other side. I was about to say that I wasn't, but my stomach answered for me.

"A little." I admitted sheepishly.

"Come on, I'll go with you." Before I could say another word, Alice was dragging me into the kitchen. She hopped up onto the counter and stared at me.

"Help yourself." I nodded and opened the cupboards. Of course, no cold foods. No electricity.

"Alice." I said, pausing to look at her. "How am I supposed to get a shower?" I asked slowly.

"There is a bathroom. But there's only cold water." I nodded and resumed my search for food. I didn't care about the water, as long as I would be able to get clean.

The best I could find was a box of crackers. The rest was pretty much cereal, and I needed something semi decent for my "dinner". I guess that it was better than nothing, and I should at least be thankful for having them think of me and my human necessities. I opened the box and held it out to Alice.

"Want some?" She shook her head.

"Not hungry." I nodded.

"Right. It's just a habit, sorry." I said, feeling slightly embarrassed.

"It's all right. Are they good?" She cocked her head to one side and studied me.

"They're all right." I shrugged and devoured another cracker. I closed the box up and put it back. I wasn't too full, but I was satisfied. Alice slid off of the counter and I followed her back outside.

"Did we miss anything?" She asked. Edward shook his head.

"We're just trying to decide on something else to do." His eyes flickered to me. "Feeling better?"

"Much better, thank you." I sunk back down onto the stairs.

"We can play ball. There's no one around." Alice suggested. Carlisle seemed to debate for a moment before nodding.

"There was a large clearing not too far away from here. Get what you want, and we'll all meet there in an hour or so." He turned to me. "Ready to cheer us on again?" I smiled. It had been a while since I'd seen them play, so I was eager to witness it again.

"Yes." I said. He and Esme disappeared into the house, along with Emmett and Rosalie.

"It'll be safe this time, Bella." Alice said, placing a hand on my shoulder. I shuddered at the thought. I wish she hadn't brought it up. I was just fine not remembering.

"Maybe I should still sit out, just in case." She shook her head at Edward.

"There's no need to. She'll be fine. Esme will be with her." He opened his mouth to argue back, but after a moment of hesitation he just closed it and sat down next to me.

"She's right. I'll be fine. That was a once and a lifetime event." Edward just gave a defeated sigh and nodded. "You guys are going to go out there, and have fun. Don't worry about me." I paused. "Go team." He just looked at me and laughed.

"You're too much, Bella." He chuckled.


	4. Chapter 4

"Walking?" Edward asked as we set off for the clearing. I nodded. I went through that twice in one day, I wasn't brave enough to go for three.

"Walking." I clarified. He just grumbled something and started off in front of me. I felt bad for slowing him down, but he was allowed to leave me behind any time he wanted to. I would probably get lost and fall and kill myself, but at least he'd get where he wanted to go.

"I'm sorry." I said after another dead silence.

"For what?"

"Being so slow." He forced a laugh.

"You're only human, Bella. I can't except you to be able to keep up all the time." He glanced over at me.

"That's the problem." I sighed, and looked down at my feet. I had a feeling this topic would make him angry again.

"What is?" He was curious, and I could tell. Sad, how he didn't know what I was going to say, when it was so obvious.

"That I'm only human." He groaned and shook his head.

"Not again, Bella, please. We've been through this a thousand times or more, and every time you get the same answer from me. So why keep bothering with it? I'm not going to do it." I exhaled slowly.

"Please?" I was pushing the matter, and something told me that sooner or later he was going to explode.

"No!" Edward bellowed. I cringed back in fear, and kept my eyes on the ground.

"I'm sorry." I whimpered. He stopped, and before I noticed, I had already bumped right into him. Slowly, I looked up. He was staring at me. His gaze was torn between fury and sadness. He didn't speak. Instead, he placed his palm on my cheek and sighed. I'm sure he felt my heart accelerate, but he made no sign of noticing.

"Edward?" I breathed. He tilted his head slightly to the side and let his hand slid down to my shoulder.

"Yes, Bella?" I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what I wanted to say. I was at a complete loss for words.

"We should get going, or they're going to start without us." I frowned as he turned back around and continued trudging on. I followed him, still trying to avoid all of the dangerous twigs and branches that were – or so I thought – out to kill me.

"How much longer?" I asked.

"We're there." He answered, leading me into a large open clearing. It was huge. Bigger than I had imagined.

"It looks to be about a hundred acres or more." I gasped.

"You didn't expect us to play in some little clearing, did you?" Alice asked. I shook my head.

"No, I guess not." I chuckled.

"You're going to go sit with Esme. She's right over there." More walking. I nodded and was about to start heading over when I felt something tug at my arm. Edward was staring at me, and I stared back. What did he want? I wondered.

"I'm worried." He said quietly.

"Edward, I'll be fine. Stop worrying. Just play the game and have fun." He hesitated before leaning down and allowing his lips to gently brush against mine. My heart rate skyrocketed, and I stumbled backwards. He caught me, and allowed me to steady myself before running off to join his family.

As I approached Esme, I could feel my cheeks burning. No doubt I was crimson already. It's funny how the smallest touch could affect me so much. I sank down into the grass and touched my lips with my fingertips. I didn't even seem to notice Esme sink down next to me.

"Are you ready for the game to begin?" She asked me softly.

"Go team." I managed to say, allowing a giggle to escape with it.

"Batter up." She said.

I watched as Rosalie stood at home plate. She held the bat up, and Alice whipped her arm out. There was neither sound, nor any movement until she swung. I covered my ears as the ball and the bat made contact. Edward was gone for only a moment before he returned. He must've thrown the ball to Carlisle, who them must've touched home, because Esme smiled and called, "Out!"

I wasn't sure if I should clap or what, so I just sat still. Watching the baseball game unfold with much interest. I suddenly wondered what it would be like to be out there, in the field next to Edward. They would hit the ball… and I would go after it. In mere seconds I would be back, throwing it to Carlisle… who would get someone out…

"Bella?"

"Huh?" I looked at Esme quickly, unsure of what she wanted, and upset that she ruined my fantasy.

"Edward's batting." She informed me.

"Already?" That was fast. I had never seen a full game, and I wondered how long it lasted. Nine innings? Or until they gave up?

"Are you cold?" I shook my head.

"No. I'm fine, thank you." I paused for a moment. "How long does a game usually last?" I asked curiously. Figuring that I might as well find out now.

"It all depends. Sometimes it can last for hours, but I don't think it will be too long tonight. It seems that Edward wants to get back to you as soon as possible." I blushed and looked away. I really didn't like it when they brought up Edward and I. Somehow it made me uncomfortable. It wasn't like it was anything new, but still… it was strange.

"Who's winning?" I was trying to keep things from getting too awkward, but I don't think it was working. Well, at least not for me.

"Edward's team." She said, glancing over at me.

I couldn't keep up with it all. They were far too fast for me, and the day's events were finally beginning to get to me. I felt my eyes close, and I remember the cold grass, but that was it.


	5. Chapter 5

I was trying to keep myself from falling into the giant pool of dark red water. Edward was reaching for me, and I could hear him calling my name. As I reached for him, I slipped and fell in. I opened my mouth to scream, but as I did so, I felt hot blood scorch my lungs as I sucked it in. It was disgusting, and I struggled for him.

"Edward!" I called loudly. I felt someone grip my shoulders and shake me roughly.

"Bella? Bella, wake up." I opened my eyes quickly and stared at him.

"What…?" I trailed off as I looked around. I was sitting up on the bed, and Edward was hovering over me. I had no idea what time it was, or how I got there. I remembered watching them play not too long ago. Now I was here?

"You fell asleep." He said, sitting down next to me and lightly brushing my hair out of my face. I shuddered.

"I had the most terrible dream." I mumbled. He nodded.

"You were screaming." I blushed and looked away. I hated when I talked out in my sleep.

"What did I say?" I asked slowly.

"My name."

"Sorry I fell asleep. Who won?" He smiled at me brightly.

"We did." I nodded and stood up. Walking over to the window I now saw that it was black as night outside. Actually, it was night.

"What time is it?" I asked quietly, hugging myself as I stared out at the dark woods.

"Nearing one o'clock." He muttered. I sighed and sulked back over to the bed. I should at least try to go back to sleep. I didn't know how early they would get me up, and I wanted to be well rested for the day ahead. No sooner did I decided to settle on the bed, Edward was already lying by my side.

"You have to stay here for a while tomorrow." He whispered. I closed my eyes.

"Why?"

"Because we… I…" My eyes flashed open.

"You're going…hunting?" He nodded slowly and I bit my lip. "You still won't take me with you?"

"No!" He hissed. "You're staying here with Alice and Esme, whether you like it or not." I rolled onto my side so my back was to him and I closed my eyes again.

"Fine." I grumbled. I didn't want him to leave me, and I wanted to see how he hunted. I thought it would be interesting, but he thought it would be too dangerous. I put enough faith and trust into Edward to know that he wouldn't hurt me, even if he wanted to.

"Good night, Bella." I yawned and nodded.

"Night…Edwa…" I drifted back into sleep even before I could finish.


	6. Chapter 6

When I awoke I wasn't expecting Edward to be there, and he wasn't. I had fallen asleep in my clothes from the night before, and I felt extra dirty. So, grabbing a clean change of clothes and my bathroom necessities, I made my way towards the small bathroom, preparing for a cold shower.

I discarded my clothes on the floor and shivered a little as the icy water hit my skin. I tried to make it as quick as possible, but get clean all at the same time. I wrapped myself in a fluffy towel and stepped out, attempting to bring the warmth back to my body.

Today was the hunting day. I knew they were bound to do this at one point in another. There had to be more than one reason for coming out here. I sighed and changed back into my clean clothes. I ran a brush through my hair and slowly made my way down to the kitchen.

"Edward said to tell you he'd be back as soon as he could." Alice called, as I walked past the living room.

"He's probably having too much fun devouring mountain lions." I grumbled. She gave me a look before returning to the book she was no doubt not paying attention to. Sulking, I pulled out a box of cereal and began munching on it.

I could sneak out and go find him. Spy. No doubt I'd get caught, but I was too curious, and I wasn't about to sit around here for who knows how long. I set the opened box on the counter and made my way to the door. I shoved my feet into my shoes and threw the door open.

"I'm going for a walk." I called.

"Want me to come?" Alice asked, peering at me from the living room doorway. I shook my head.

"No. I'll be back in a little bit, I promise." Without waiting for an answer, I was out the door and running towards the woods.

All right. I was out of the house. Now where should I look for him at? This mountain was huge, and I doubt they'd be anywhere close by, which meant that I would be doing a lot of walking.

I figured I wasn't missing much, so it would be all right for me to walk slow and take my time. I liked to think of it as taking a little nature walk. Only I hoped to be seeing more than just birds and bugs. I was anxious, and I was terrified. What if he was right? What if he did lose all control? How did I know I could stop him?

I shuddered and pulled my jacket closer around me, as if it would help protect me. As I walked, I heard the snarling, but I didn't pay attention to it. I simply told myself that it was my imagination trying to get to me. When I heard it again, followed by heavy footsteps, I had to stop and turn around.

A scream caught in my throat as the large animal stared me down. Teeth bared, it was crouching low in a pounce. I knew I couldn't run, but I couldn't just stand there either. I felt my heart accelerate, but it wasn't a good kind of accelerate. I was scared to death.

"Edward?" I knew he couldn't hear me, but I tried anyway. I was desperate. I needed saved from this thing before it attacked me. Not knowing what else to do, I backed myself up against a tree, never taking my eyes off of it.

It shifted its weight, and before I could blink it leapt at me. I put my arm up, hoping to shield myself. Even though I knew it was a wasted attempt. Surprisingly, the claws never came, and I slowly opened my eyes.

The scene unfolding before me was worse than anything I could ever imagine. It seemed to take less than ten seconds for the lion to stop clawing and scratching at nothing. How he did it, I had no idea. I didn't want to know, actually.

Like a wild savage Edward went for its neck. I felt my stomach churning as I watched in horror. Did he know I was there? Did I want him to know I was there? He'd see me eventually, cowering by the tree. I didn't want to watch, but I yet again I couldn't take my eyes off of it.

How long I sat there, I wasn't sure. But as soon as he was finished, he stood up and his eyes found me. He looked completely foreign to me. I knew I was as white as a ghost, and probably shaking, but I couldn't help it. He tilted his head slightly to the side, and fixed me with a hungry gaze.

Slowly and deliberately, he made his way towards me. He reached for me, and I slapped his hand away.

"No!" I cried, pushing past him. I ran. I didn't care where I went, just as long as I could get away from him. Away from all of them.

"Bella?" I heard him call. I wasn't going to stop, and I wasn't going to answer. But I looked back at him anyway. He hadn't moved, and he looked more confused than anything.

Of course as I ran I stumbled, and I even fell. The knees of my jeans were stained with grass and mud, and my hands were all scratched up. It had to be mid afternoon, which gave me time to wonder where I was going and not have to panic.

Why did they have to live like that? Sure, it was better than feeding off of people, but… He had been right. It wasn't for my eyes and I regret ever wanting to see it. I still felt sick to my stomach, and I knew I'd never be able to get that image out of my mind.

I finally stopped, unable to run anymore. I sunk down onto my knees. I couldn't even stand. He was going to be furious with me later, and I didn't want to have to face him. I just wanted to go home and forgot all of this.

I was close to the house now. But I wanted to try to calm down at least a little bit before going inside. They'd find out, I know they would. But I wasn't going to say anything.

I forced myself to my feet, and my legs felt like rubber. Trying my best not to collapse, I made my way back inside. Alice looked up from her book at the sound of my approach. She knew something was wrong.

"You look worse than I do. Bella, what happened?" I was silent as I sunk down into one of the chairs and stared at my hands. I looked up as Esme stood in the doorway, staring at me.

"Bella." She said softly. I just bit my lip and shook my head. Alice slammed her book shut and stared at me.

"You didn't!" She gasped. I hesitated, but nodded.

"Where's Edward?" Esme asked, sitting next to me and grabbing my hand. I flinched away. I couldn't hold anything against all of them. They really had no choice.

"I don't know." I stammered. "I want to go home. I wish he never brought me here." I sobbed. I felt silly, but I just couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Bella, you should go lay down for a while." Alice said quietly, heaving me to my feet and guiding my upstairs. As soon as she closed the door behind her, I lunged for my bag. I didn't have to pack much, because I hadn't taken much out. But what I did have out, I made sure I put it in my bag. I was going home. I needed to go home.

* * *

**NOTE:** I'm not an expert, and I don't exactly know how the whole "feeding" process would go, so I based it off of what I knew.


	7. Chapter 7

I sucked in a large breath as I watched the five ghost-like figures make their way across the lawn. I knew it was only moments before Edward would have me cowering against the wall under his deadly glare. From my place at the window I could see the angry glint in his eyes already.

The door flew open down stairs and I rushed over to the bed. I sunk down, my eyes fixed on the bedroom door. Seconds later, that too flew open, and there he stood… staring at me.

For a moment there was dead silence, and I was beginning to think that he wasn't in total control of himself yet. But, that changed as soon as he clenched his fists and opened his mouth to speak – or yell.

"What the hell do you think you were doing?" He spat. Shaking, I shook my head. I couldn't cry, I couldn't move. I just had to sit there and try to stay as calm as possible.

"I don't know." I mumbled, looking away from him.

"Dammit, Bella! I could've killed you if I hadn't been paying attention. I wanted to. You don't know how badly I wanted to. But you ran, and I fought with myself. I wasn't going to run after you. I was worried, I was angry, and I was terrified." He paused to inhaled before turning his back to me. "Are you all right?"

"No." I said honestly, standing up and watching as he turned around to face me. "Edward, I want to go home. I want to go home now." He pressed his lips into a thin line and nodded.

"Get your stuff, and I'll take you home." I didn't have to be told twice. I snatched my bag off of the bed and followed him out the door.

Down stairs they were all waiting. I took in the look on each of their faces. They were sure to hate me now. Rosalie looked even angrier than she ever had, and I was positive that she was fighting with herself not to just kill me right then and there.

"We'll see you soon, Bella." Esme said, forcing a smile. I nodded and bit my lip.

"I'm sorry." I managed to say before just bolting out the door. I dove for the car, and quickly buckled myself into the passenger seat. Edward slid in beside me, and we were off.

The ride started off in silence, but sooner or later I knew one of us had to speak. I was just about to say something before he interrupted me.

"Why did you do it? What possessed you enough to try and find me?" He asked sharply. I thought for a moment before sighing.

"I don't know. I was curious, I guess. I wanted to know, and I thought that…" I trailed off and stared out of the window. It was dark now, and the only things I could see where what the headlights illuminated.

"That it would be amusing?" He exhaled slowly before stopping the car and turning to look at me. He reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear, but I cringed and turned away. "Bella, please don't be scared." He whispered.

"I don't know you." I said sadly. He was speechless as he turned back in his seat and resumed driving.

"Do you want me to come back?"

"What?" Did I hear him right? Was he asking me if I wanted him to come back? Why?

"I should've stayed away long ago…" He mumbled, shaking his head and looking at me. "I can stay away if that's what you want." I shook my head.

"No. That's not what I want. All I want is to…is to…" I didn't know what I wanted anymore. Besides going home… I wasn't sure.

"Edward, I'm sorry." I said finally. "I ruined what started out to bea nice weekend. They probably hate me now."

"They're worried." He said simply.

"About what?"

"About you. About me. About everything." He said simply, his eyes transfixed on the dirt road. I just nodded slowly and looked away. That was understandable, I guessed.

I knew it would be another hour or two, so I just fell silent and settled back to take a nap.


	8. Chapter 8

I felt a cold hand on my cheek, and I quickly pulled away. My eyes shot open as Edward shifted his body away from me. I could tell he was hurt, but so was I. Or, I was more confused and shocked than anything.

"Please don't be afraid." He pleaded. I bit my lip and looked at my house. We were there, I knew it wouldn't take too long.

I didn't answer as I slung the strap of my bag over my shoulder and opened the car door. Edward stopped me, and I turned slowly to look at him.

"Please let me go, Edward." I spoke slowly, hoping that I wouldn't choke on my words or something. Reluctantly, he released me and I scrambled out of the car.

"Bella…" He rolled the window down, and I turned once more to look. "I'll see you in a few days." I nodded and walked the rest of the way up to the house.

As I reached the door, I glanced back, but he was gone. I exhaled slowly and opened the door. I could tell the television was on, which meant that Charlie was still awake, and that the door was unlocked.

"Bella?" He stood up and stared at me as I closed the door. Could he tell something had happened? "It's nearing midnight. What are you doing home?"

"Dr. Cullen got called to the hospital." I lied, making my way towards the stairs.

"Your friend Jessica called yesterday." I shrugged and began making my way towards my room. I'd call her tomorrow.

"Goodnight, dad." I called, closing the door to my bedroom softly. I dropped my things by the door and lunged for my bed.

I buried my face in my pillow and cried. Every tear I had been holding back, I released. No one could see me, I had nothing to worry about.

Slowly but surely, I cried myself to sleep.


End file.
